It’s Valentine’s Day and everyone at Offie Mag is a soppy bastard. So grab someone you love, stuff your earphone into their ear canal, and play them these gorgeous romantic sounds.
Tom Gladstone, Music Editor
What better way to commemorate that hulking henge of love, St. Valentine, than with this salient ode to the greatest of all subjects, by those soppy northern romantics – Drenge.
Oscar ‘OB-1’ Berkhout, Grime Selectah
‘You’re taking your girl out for dinner, you’re gonna tell her you love her but are you gonna beat?’
Elliot Prior, Resident Poet
Nothing screams Valentine’s Day more than sitting in front of the television with a Chicken Kiev and watching a beautifully erotic film about homosexual love. Call Me by Your Name is at once endearing and torturous, as is the fantastic soundtrack by Sufjan Stevens.
Greg Stanley, Bossman-in-chief
Sing this one to your missus today to show her it’s real, ’cause she ain’t no half-fat margarine.
Kieran Mallon, Native Editor/Offie Mag Debutant
Without a doubt the sexiest track of 2017. There’s absolutely no intention to mask the eroticism with layers of metaphor or misdirection. Absolutely none. On top of that, the deep, moody synths combined with Syd’s sweet, whispery vocals make this the ultimate slow bang song. Happy Valentine’s day.
Fezile Sibanda, Mrs Offie Mag
One for all the sad girls.
Matt Leppier, Brickcellphone
Why spend Valentine’s Day with ur lady when you can spend it with ur one true love – actavis? Well, that’s what the old Gucci would’ve done. Anyway, new Gucci is probably with his wife N u should probs be with ur gurl if u have one. If not, then listen to James Blunt and watch Friends in ur pants.
Marko Marincic, UK Funky DJ and Resident Food Critic
Delightful example of the crème de la crème of Lovers Rock. I hope to serenade a future love to this one in the rolling Serbian foothills wearing nothing but a brightly embroidered smock. On it I will have stitched the refrain, ‘Darling you make me feel brand new’, and on completing my love-song I would rip it off and throw it into the direction of the crowd of mesmerized onlookers (growing exponentially now due to the sheer power of my voice). Now that’s romance.
Saygyal Yusuf, Tea & Crumpets
As the great Snoop Dogg once said; ‘We don’t love these hoes,’ even on Valentine’s Day.
Ghaleb Rahim, Resident Street Drifter
Has to be ‘Where You Find Me’ by Verb T, ’cause all he talks about is how he wants to sit at home and be left alone. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone.