Weekly Clickbait: Funny Aldi products

Lookalike branding and blatant mickey-taking have become Aldi’s forte and this supermarket chain, fluent in irony and masters of piss-takery, should be celebrated. For our weekly clickbait feature, we pick our top five or six Aldi products.

Those of you who read ISSUE ONE will already be familiar with the work of Spicy Mark, a man whose Culinary Corner welcomed every single flavour of Rubicon onto his judgemental tongue for your reading pleasure.

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As we start to ease our way towards ISSUE TWO, here’s another taste of Spicy Mark’s Culinary Corner, with a look at seminal piss-takers and celebrated supermarket chain, Aldi. Their own name suspiciously close to their direct competitors, Lidl, this supermarket has become the choice of those who don’t have a lot of money to spend but still want to eat avocados.

On top of that, the tongue and cheek nature of their graphic design team and branding superheroes has lead to their supermarket selection appearing to be incredibly familiar, at first glance at least. Look a little closer, though, and all is not as it first seems within the four walls and constantly rotating stock of Aldi. Are those Rice Krispies or simply Crisp Rice? Those ‘Seal’ bars with the jokes on the back look nice, but I swear I’ve had one before. Is Galahad a real beer? Why is it 50p a can?

 

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Bramwells REAL Mayonnaise

Switch the vowels around and an at first perfectly plausible midrange mayonnaise brand turns into something far more sinister.

It’s like déjà vu. Everything seems familiar. The colours. The shapes. The name. It’s marketing genius from Aldi, with a subtle takedown of the British mayonnaise juggernaut Hellman’s.

Norpak

Spreadable-Norpak-A

Not content with simply plagiarising discount to midrange brands, Aldi go after the premium butter scene here with Norpak.

Nothing is safe, not even the upper echelons of supermarket shopping. A certain Danish butter franchise can’t be best pleased, especially as Aldi’s equivalent is much better for your wallet.

 

Crisp Rice

crisp rice

Seriously? Aldi are elegant in their simplicity here. It really is just crisp rice, a perfect cereal for boring breakfast eaters.

There’s only one problem… someone got there first. Not to worry though, Aldi’s legal department can seemingly worm their way out of any copyright infringement possible. Even if it is just changing the order of two words in a brand name. Genius. Notice that the Snap, Crackle and Pop have been replaced by one big cereal elf, too.

Titan Bars

titan

Everyone loves a celestial-themed choccy bar.

Aldi know this and that’s why they’ve named the impressive Titan Bar after one of Jupiter’s moons. It’s filled with an intoxicating blend of Chocolate, Caramel and Nougat, much like a certain choccy bar first created in the bountiful British borough of Slough. That’s right, it’s the Mars Bar.

A staple-mark in any humble off-licence, and one with a very high level of chocciness. One look at the packaging proves once again Aldi’s determination to plagiarise with just the right amount of similarity. Hat’s off to the branding department.

 

Cholesterol

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Mmm, cholesterol. Tastes as good as it sounds.

Soupreme

They say Aldi is for everybody – discount shoppers, students, hypebeasts. Yeah, that’s right, this one’s straight for the soup and Supreme enthusiasts.

For those that are equally confident in copping that first drop of Supreme x Diadora, and whipping up a good fresh old can of tomato soup. Your outfit is never really complete without a trusty can of Soupreme by your side. Funny image and probably not true to be honest, although this crafty German supermarket chain should never be underestimated.

Wheat Bisks

wheat bisks

They can go a bit too far sometimes though can’t they? It’s not even making sense anymore, what are Bisks?

Bisks sounds horrible; so dry with an eery crustiness to its utterance. Wheat Bisks sounds even worse, seriously not a very pleasant thing to think about eating for breakfast. Would definitely still buy it though and I wonder why. This branding department is absolutely on one.

 

Alcafé

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There’s just no stopping them. Even the jar, from that iconic top lid down to the elegant glass posterior, reeks of one of the nation’s favourite coffee franchises.

But look at that price! Jaw-dropping stuff, it really is a lower price and £cheaper. It doesn’t even feel like you’re buying anything worse than the true Nescafé – the looks are so similar it doesn’t matter what it tastes like. How do they get away with it?

Vitacat Complete Dry Cat-Food

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It doesn’t even matter what this one’s called, you immediately recognise what product it is. It’s hard to even remember the original cat food brand’s name, but the overall colour scheme, geometry, and logo in Aldi’s offering is so similar you immediately know what’s going on. You get that feel good midrange-to-premium supermarket experience for a fraction of the price, it’s this crafty supermarket’s trademark.

AWFYMAYG

 

 

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