5 cheap ways to stay warm this winter

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Apart from the odd days when someone remarks: ‘it’s quite mild, actually,’ it’s really effing cold, these days innit?

Like, scarf-wearingly cold. Everyone apart from that weird bloke in shorts who drinks nothing but Monster Energy is in big coats. But heating is expensive and if you live with your parents they don’t like it when you have it on for some reason. So, allow us to use our weekly Clickbait allowance, to help you, our loyal clickers, to stay warm on a budget this winter.


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THE TUCK

Jumper, fleece, hoodie, sweatshirt. You name it, you can tuck it into your trousers.

Not only is it a fashionable statement, but it keeps your body heat in and crucially, that cold winter air out (extra hack: Trousers can be tucked themselves into a pair of socks, for the ultimate warm and fashionable look).


THE INTENTIONAL WEE YOURSELF

You can do it in a wetsuit so why not a pair of trousers? Best performed in conjunction with the tuck and in the presence of absolutely nobody else.

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THE BENDER

Ever noticed that no matter what time of year it is, the buzz of a nightclub always manages to provide you with an almost damp warmth?

Well, why save your nights out for the weekend? If it’s the warm your seeking, pack a bag and head to your favourite local nightlife venue. Dance with Freshers on Monday, boogie at Techno Tuesday and hide in the dark on Wednesday when said venue closes. All in aid of that glorious, condensation-heavy warmth. Mmmmm.


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THE CONSTANT RUN-ON-THE-SPOT

Everybody knows exercise keeps you nice and toasty. Most of the time this is more of an inconvenience, but why not flip it on its head?

The key to the Constant Run-On-The-Spot is to never stop jogging. Literally never. It’s free central heating and you get an added sleek and sporty appearance to passers-by.


LAYER UP

How many fleeces can you wear before passing out?

How many coats can you wear and still fit through doorways?

Challenge your friends to a game of ‘Layer Up’ and have sweltering fun all winter. Combine with The Constant-Run-On-The-Stop for the ultimate challenge.


ISSUE TWO OUT NOW

By Marko Marincic and Greg Stanley.

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