We get it, you’re one of the good ones; a do-er, a mover, a trailblazer. You’re here browsing the Offie Mag blog for christ’s sake, it’s evidently clear. How annoying it must be then, when you don’t get full credit for your pioneer status, or the work you put in to get here.
Allow me to paint a picture; it’s 2, 3 or 4am and you’re sat on a slightly musty chair somewhere, just trying to hook up some boom for the room. Spotify queue on the boil. Stage left, your mate comes in and utters the words ‘do you know that ***** tune by *****? Stick it on will you?’ Your finger hovers over the ‘add to queue’ as you take stock of what’s just happened. Anger, disbelief, and a touch of the ol’ dry mouth. Yes, you’ve heard of **** by ****, what do they take you for? The only reason why they have too is because you showed it them! But before you launch out of your chair and smash the lukewarm glass out their hands, take a breath, put the phone down, and listen ‘ere. We’ve compiled a few suggestions of how to respond when you find yourself in a similarly sticky situation:
1. THE EVIDENCE
If the moment comes – the inevitable ‘Oh, I’m pretty sure I showed you this, no?’, have your evidence to the contrary at hand. Whether that be a browning ticket stub from a gig a few years back, or a playlist entry dating to 2016, it is imperative that you are prepared.
2. THE ONE-UP
Let’s say you recently moved house and your extensive collection of weathered tickets and record store receipts have been misplaced – be ready for the ‘One-Up’. Simply put, you must be ready with an intimate fact on the tune/artist that separates your knowledge undeniably from the rest. For e.g ‘Ah yes I see you think you were the OG Blood Orange fan, but did you ever listen to the album Falling Off The Lavender Bridge, released in 2008 under his former alias Lightspeed Champion?’ The answer will be no, and well, you’ve won.
3. THE COMMITMENT
Get a tattoo. Nothing says ‘sorry my dude, I heard these guys first’ like permanent ink branding beneath the surface of your skin.
4. THE HOMEWORK
When the new album/mixtape/EP/Soundcloud mix comes out – don’t just listen to it – post it straight to your Instagram stories, download it, and if possible, memorise 3-4
snappy lines to casually drop into a conversation you’ve engineered specifically for the purpose.
5. Finally; THE NOD.
There’s a reason this power move is last on the list. Similar to the shrug, cousin of the smirk, this steely action screams ‘We both know who’s the real pioneer here, but I’m so damn sure of both myself and my highly trained nose for new music, all I’m gonna give you is this here nod’. Mysterious, elusive, neither here nor there; The Nod is the Banksy of responses. Try it sometime, I promise you’ll never look back.
And if you’re the sort of prick who likes boasting about music no-one else has ever heard, enjoy Offie Mag doing exactly that here, on our Spotify playlist.