CLBRKS and Morriarchi pick their favourite microwaveable foods

We’ve got a very special edition of our Weekly Clickbait here, as CLBRKS and Morriarchi, authors of the newly dropped Blah Records’ Microwave Cooking 2000, give us some culinary advice.

offie mag clickbait

Those who have read ISSUE FOUR of Offie Mag will know we know a thing or two about meat heated up via radiation. Moreover, anyone who has listened to CLBRKS’ and Morri’s new record will have learned a thing or two about the art form, too.

The album is 12 tracks and skits of vintage CL, as Morriarchi’s funk, soul and sometimes other worldly-inspired production caters to the London rapper’s voice. Go find it. Perhaps play it in the background as the duo share their favourite microwavable snacks.

Read our interview with CLBRKS in ISSUE FOUR if you want. Free delivery.

Offie Mag

CLBRKS’ top 5 microwavable foods

1. Them bean pots Heinz makes. Real modern British efficiency and engineering. For those in the know, who stay on the go.


2. Popcorn. OG microwave banger. Can’t go wrong.


3. Tinfoil. You know what it is.


DISCLAIMER: CLBRKS is a professional. Don’t try this at home.

4. Marshmallows. You ever seen that? Fuckers expand into a hot gooey mess.


5. Cheesestring. Shit melts, down to what is essentially plastic. Can be used as a weapon.

Morriarchi’s top 5 microwavable foods

1. Microwave popcorn. Usually, butter flavour, add more to watch it cower beneath the extreme heat.


2. Last night’s ragu.


3. A slice of blueberry pie.

Blah Records

4. The blunt. Thank you, Snoop Dogg.

Microwave blunt

5. Rustler’s Burger (worst case scenario). Just to watch the weird powered onion form during the waving.



You can order Microwave Cooking 2000 on vinyl via Blah Records.


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